how do i keep my hope alive?

[trytryagain]

got a call from my mother on my way home from work...the second i answer, i hear, "you need to pack your things and go stay with your sister tonight." we're expecting a LOT of snow starting tomorrow afternoon and i know she was just worried about me being snowed in, but i told her i have to go to work tomorrow, plus my sister would have to drive here to get me and the dog since i no longer have a car, not to mention drive us back here in the morning so i could leave the dog at my apartment. i ATTEMPTED to draw a line, i said, mom, i appreciate that you're worried but i'm a grown up and i won't be stranded alone, i live in a building full of other people, so don't worry about me i will be fine. her response was a huffy "whatever" and she quickly hung up.

sometimes i feel like my mother is giving me a damn harder time than my H is.

anyway, that was just a rant. we are supposed to get a lot of snow over the weekend and it would be so nice to be snowed in with the dog and my H. i know that's wishful thinking, and i do have friends in my apartment building, but it's not the same. besides, not much GAL-ing to be done when everything in the city is closed cause of the snow. i did stock up on wine and movies, but...it would just be nice if he were here to keep me warm, i guess. i do have a 90 pound dog who thinks he's a snuggie, so i guess i don't have it that bad. but even with all the GAL-ing, at the end of the day, i'm having one-sided conversations with a dog and it gets lonely.

i looked for apartments online today. have only gone i think 1 or 2 days with NC in the last few weeks. i never contact him first, so i guess it's nice that he's at least reaching out in some way, even if it's just to talk about our storage unit or bank account or something. he did say he felt i was doing a lot better in the self-improvement department than he was. but i also have my church and a much better support system than he does.

there's really no point to this post, i'm just talking out loud. the dog got tired of listening so, i had to take it to the internets.