Is this piecing?

[flowmom]

As S's bedtime approached, I made the fatal mistake of mentioning "You may want to play with S because he will have to go to bed soon." implying "Get off your dang phone!"

Because you're married, your H heard the part that I bolded, and that's what he was responding to, not your actual words. I've learned that it's not enough for me to say the right words. H is ultra-sensitive to any underlying criticism, judgements, etc. If I ever have a second chance with H, I will probably have to learn to leave the room before saying the part about "You may want to..."

I agree about your H using screens to distract himself. I know how alienating that can be but I agree with the PP who wrote that it is worth considering accepting that. Remember that you're in a long-distance relationship? The screens are part of the distance.

I regret so much all the millions of times that I've told H what I think he should be doing. I wish that I had been smart enough to get close to H by enticing, playing, inviting.