My Story...possible "grass is greener" scenario?

[Gardener]

nsw1222,

I just stopped by to vent and hopefully not do/say anything to react on emotions.
Even though you've clearly labeled this a "vent", I'm going to intrude slightly with three simple thoughts.

I found out that my ex's dad and his girlfriend know and seem to have known about the OM for a while...they seem quite comfortable with him. And why not...he's a lot closer to their age than he is to my ex's...so it's like they're buddies.

I just dont get how my ex could do this to our family knowing the pain that her own mother and fathers divorce had on her? nsw, children of trauma, victims of trauma will often act out and perpetuate that very same trauma in the very same way as adults. She has neither forgiven nor healed. Perhaps she never will.

yet I cannot ask her that as its pushing.

but I so want to text my ex and ask her that.

I really hate the OM. so my own shortcomings caused my ex to be unhappy..Not necessarily so..that still doesnt mean we couldnt work things out in time...and it certainly doesnt mean he had to move in on the situation.

the respectable thing most decent human beings would do is give someone an appropriate amount of time. I mean when someones spouse dies most decent people allow a year or so. when someone's relationship ends a similar courtesy should be shown.


at the very least I think I should admit defeat to my ex...tell her that I know I'm fighting a losing battle because everyone that she really cares about is perfectly fine with her situation. Like everything else, if it's a good idea now, it will still be a good idea in 48 hours. Don't act on this.
Alternatively, as Gypsy says:
If it feels right, do it.
If it doesn't feel right or you're waffling on it, don't.

It's so frustrating that I cant yell and scream at my ex to get all this out. I could but (1) it wouldnt change anything...she doesnt care...and (2) that would likely get me in more trouble.