If she wants to move out, let her move herself out. You don't have to help her leave you. Do you have a good relationship with her parents? Are they aware that their daughter is in a depression that is impacting her patience and her ability to take care of her children and that she refuses to seek help? Would speaking with them help or worsen the situation? Who does your wife talk to about her problems other than you? It seems she has cut you out and is floundering and may have no trustable friend to turn to. Sorry you had a rough day. I think when your wife is calmer it's time to perhaps attempt a talk about her tryiing to control her meltdowns in front of the children. If she wants to discuss the relationship, could you do it only once a week and when the children aren't around? What does she do regularly for fun or stress relief? It seems all her focus is on the kids, her frustration, stress, and you. You can't fix this for her or make her go to counseling, but can you hire some babysitting help for her to get a night off alone or something? Good luck. It sounds very tough right now. Seems like you are doing the best anyone could do in such a tough spot.
