I've hit a wall.. Now what?

[talia]

Musing... OK PUP.... I'm on board with your advice... It hasn't steered to many wrong from what I've read.... Thanks Coach...


So far I've been clear with H that I don't expect him to change his mind - that's his prerogative and I'm just living my life. I've also been clear that if he DOES change his mind I'm open to forgiving him. That's the jist of my position on things. So my "More of the same" would be

Show up with no intention of moving toward D. Tell H that I don't want D, that I'm not ready to discuss filing, that I need more time in counseling and to please honor my request for time and space.

(Just typing that I feel weak and pathetic)


SO possible options for something DIFFERENT:

1) File for divorce and serve his sorry a$$ on the 21st.

2) Don't file. Show up and agree that this divorce needs to get moving. I'm not filing jointly because it diminishes my rights so either he gets moving or I will. Bring along a list of what he can expect from me with regards to the joint bills going forward and if he doesn't like it - tough.

3) Show up with nothing and see what he says.... tell him we need to get the D moving. Take anything he proposes and tell him I'll go over it with L an get back to him. (This would imply I'm ok with filing jointly, without stating one way or the other)

4)Agree to try and negotiate a mutual settlement between the two of us with the goal of filing jointly and be very ready to pull the plug on it and file myself if it doesn't go well. (I could easily do this because there is absolutely NO WAY we would ever complete this. His idea of what is "fair" is BS. Of course I would run everything past L at this point. This would be the most effective at Gucci's "agree" plan since this one will give him everything he says he wants right now)



I appreciate thoughts... I'm musing and thinking "out loud".. I'm finding that the more I write on here the better handle I get on how I feel and what makes sense for me....


Found Some of Gucci's stuff on HHH's thread... would love some direct insight into the "Gucci" plan for my sitch.... Gucci - if you are out there...

Not going to let the craziness ruin my day! Time to throw my hands up in the air, scream and enjoy the rush!!

T