Running out of time.

[Cie la vie]

Mhl,

I'm definitely not throwing in the towel, keeping this family whole is so obvioulsy the right thing for the children that I would be doing them an injustice not to fight to the end. The way we fight this battle, however, seems to be more akin to a Monks life than that of warrior.

A good part of my fatalistic thinking is designed to minimize any expectations I have about saving the M. I just can't afford to get my hopes up or the fall could be brutal.

My sitch seems a bit unique in that my W filed for D and that is the base line I started working from. It seems most here started out in what would appear to be a slightly better position. However, that could just be me throwing a pity party.

I've been at this for going four months (not along time) now and I believe I have been doing all the right things, 180's, GAling etc. and they have certainly helped me emotionally and mentally but the train keeps chugging along unabated. I know we aren't doing the above for them but us, however, at the end of the day we are all here because we want to save our marriages. Given that it sure would be nice to see some positive results from the efforts. I haven't seen any.

I have without fail avoided initiating R talks and my brain tells me that is the correct route my heart wants to reach out and test the waters. I'm sure they'll be icy and that keeps me from testing it.

I guess the bottom line here is we must keep the faith and let the chips fall where they may.