Wow - that is VERY similar to where I was last fall, and patterns my H has exhibited as well. I was feeling he would NEVER get around to doing anything, just keeping us in limbo and waiting for me to agree or do it. For a long time I felt well he can file and I'm not going to. He didn't press on it or say anything from June to Dec (one mention in Sept, but did nothing)...I honestly think he was waiting for me to step up and do it (which is exactly the pattern of most in our M). I thought he was being a coward. I didn't mind that much b/c I was so busy GAL, but then the limbo got to me as I was trying to figure what to do w my life. Thinking without him, would I stay in this city? etc... and I kept envisioning my life without him and realize I would have to move to move on. At this point we've been separated over a year, so the hope has just decreased more and more..and I've gotten fed up too. There is the school of thought that you have more leverage when they are so eager (read Gucci's post to me last Sept), but you've gotta do what's right for you and don't just act under pressure.
It's an honest ? about would you want him back. Two nights ago I was just thinking that and felt it would be hard to take him back..but given the oppty I think I would want to at least try. Yes, time will tell...no need to do anything right away. For me I feel the more I refuse this (ie going along w D) the more it will drag out, even though I don't want it a year is a long time and I want to get on w living me life if he's (seemgingly) 100% done w me. We did a decent amount of fighting in the early stages of S but now I am more resigned to it I think (though still do get sad, and still have had moments of being very OK w it like 'this is all happening for a reason').
As my friend once told me...these are those times where you need to go to that 'quiet place inside' to determine what is best for you. Good luck to you.
