Been a while since i posted.....My mom passed away last week...Been a rough few weeks dealing with her illness and death....
Not sure what is going on with my ex....She has really been great in helping to care for my mom and being there for my dad....Dad wanted her to be with the family during the funeral....My mom would have wanted that too and the boys needed her there....
We have spent quite a bit of time together and it has gone fairly well....There were no R talks because there have just been too many emotions flying around....She did say it felt good to have us all together as a family and that she had missed that...
As far as i know, she is still not seeing the guy she had been dating...We talked the other night and she said that she does not want to have a relationship with anyone....She just wants to be able to go and do as she wants with no one to answer to....Said she had a couple of dates with a guy, but waht she really wanted was to be friends....Talked about how a guy usually wants to have sex about the third date and she did not want that.....
She really opened up about how she felt towards the end of our marriage....How she felt that she tried so hard to make things good and I never heard her when she said things were bad....She also told me how it got to the point that she dreaded me coming home and did not want to go to bed with me....Alot of what she said hurt pretty bad, but I have already owned up to most of the problems I caused in the marriage....
I know not to read too much into any of this and she said she really wants to have this time to herself without any pressure....She said she had felt pressure from me and the guy she had been dating.....I asked her point blank to tell me that we were done and that she did not want to try again....She said she could not say that....
She did say that there were so amny things that she needed to work on and that she was going to start going to counseling...She also said there were many things that i needed to work on myself.....I do agree with that....She said things could not just go back together and be happy...It would take alot of work and we would have to be willing to do it and that there would have to be alot of counseling....
As I said, I am not reading anything into this.....She does seem more at peace with things and is trying to make herself happy without depending on someone else to do it....The last thing she told me was this: "I have thought about marriage to the OM and he would tomorrow, but I see that would probably be a mistake, besides I can't imagine being married to anyone but you." She said let's agree to work on ourselves and see where that leads....
Not sure how to feel about all of this, but I am going to work really hard on me....Whatever she does is up to her...
