You're stuck in a bad position, juggling like a jester trying to keep up with your wife who's on a jog to wonderland.
Stop keeping all the balls in the air. Stop running. Take a moment to center. Take time to breathe.
Reread what gucci and Puppy have written. They know what works. I'm a woman who trusts their word.
It's better to put everything on the line. What good is a relationship that's half there, "go along, get along"?
During our divorce process, my former spouse blamed me for everything, including screaming, "You were a sh!tty wife!"
That wounded me to the core because I was all about family. When I thought about it, I realized I had been such a wife, but not for the reasons he thought. I cared more about the cohesiveness of the family than my self worth. I made everyone more important than me and lost who I was in the process.
In retrospect, I should have put it all on the line ages ago, been willing to face my own fears and risk everything I held dear for an equal loving growing partnership. Rather than relying on the basis of our love.
Read "Not Just Friends". Emotional relationships happen innocently, each wayward individual turning to each other as emotional confidants rather than to their spouses.
It stems from an emotional void. Very simple.
Don't say, "I don't want to lose you."
Say, "I want you, all of you. The good, the bad, the warts, the beauty, everything. That's who I married, that's who I love."
You will eventually lose her unless she comes to a great awakening that what she has is better than what she imagines, or if you take steps to tell her the way back or else.
As I found out.. You don't hold onto someone who doesn't want to be with you; to someone who doesn't cherish and treasure you.
Make the decision rather than having it painfully unravel around you. She's been discontented for a quite a while.
*hugs*
Wow.
There you have it, Ozy -- from men, and from women. We are both telling you the same thing.
