Nothing has been filed yet. I'm surprised and confused by that. H emailed me detailed spreadsheets about how to D the day after he dropped the bomb on me... and PUSHED PUSHED PUSHED me to agree to file immediately, he didn't want a long separation, this was a long time coming and I had better just accept it.
I told him to go to hell... and then we met in Oct and I asked him to wait to file until after the holidays because I was going to have a hard enough time getting through the holidays without adding looming court deadlines too. He - much to my GREAT surprise - VERY quickly agreed. Then Jan 1 rolled around and I expected immediate pressure... none. I anticipated getting served with D papers... none. Finally mid Jan he sends me an email along the lines of .... chatty friendly stuff related to his time over the holidays with family.... complaining about some of our bills... and then "we need to find a time to get together to get this thing moving... I know neither of us wants to drag it out"...
I put him off a little more and got a firmer email asking to firm up dates to negotiate the terms of the D. He is hell bent on getting me to "agree" to file together and negotiate everything between the two of us. His suggested dates were around 2/20 so I finally agreed to 2/21.
He has ASSUMED in all of his correspondence that I'm on board with filing jointly - even though I've never agreed to it or give him the impression I was going to - and he is somewhat forceful in re-iterating that each time he mentions it. What a shock that will be. HMMMMM Assumptions ... the make an... well anyway...
His tone is contrite ... if you can have a tone in an email... however its a huge 180 for him in how he's communicated with me previously. Not sure what the means - probably nothing.
I've been barely civil and kinda bitchy. I don't mean to be - but I've really had enough of the BS. He keeps testing all boundaries and I'm sick of it. I'm on the verge of having my own papers filed and ready to serve to him on the 21st... not sure I have the guts...
I'm going to call his bluff. I'm not filling jointly - his D, his job. I'm slightly afraid that he just WON'T file at all.. He's cake eating right now anyway so why mess with a good thing if I don't do it the way he wants. I guess I'll just have to wait and see and re-adjust from there...
He hasn't had the balls to file anything official yet. It seems very important to him that I agree and we do it amicably. I'm sure that means in his mind - I think the marriage can't be save either - ergo it really IS the best thing for both of us - ergo he did the right thing and doesn't have to feel guilty.... I'M TOTALLY NOT FEEDING INTO THAT CRAP! In the past he's never had the balls to do anything... he always expected me to pull the trigger and then he was highly critical that I didn't do it the way he wanted. Clearly that hasn't changed.
Right now I'm just sorting through how I feel about it, what my best legal options/ strategy are, and what will be best for me in the long run. I'm really on the fence about whether or not I care anymore if he ever comes around. I'm starting to hate the man he is... not the man he was... and I'm starting to see that I could have a really good life without him...
OH Well.. I guess time will tell how I should handle things....
T
ME28,WAH30, M 5YRS, T 7YRS ,OW/ILYBNILY/SEP 9/09 Served with D papers 6/6/10 Current
