I'm not saying discard Rob's advice -- because a lot of what he is saying IS valid. You need to detach from the outcome. Go out and live your life. Find what makes your happy and DO IT! Do not waste your energy anymore on what H is doing, what time he's coming home etc.
The solution is simple: If he doesn't call to let you know... there is no dinner, no leftover's, nothing. You do not continue being his maid or his doormat. You pick yourself up and do things that make you happy. You do not need to be a jerk to him and you do not have to meet his needs. You need to shine. You need to become the woman that any man will die for. You ABSOLUTELY HAVE to work on yourself (which you've started on)
You need to "live in your own happy little world" that you create for yourself -- without him -- EVEN IF HE IS STILL LIVING at home. If that proves too difficult for you then ask him to leave. Just bear in mind that he has no attachment to the kids at the moment and the kids don't want him near him.
Just be completely aware of everything. If you had led me to believe that he had anything to lose by you kicking him out I would be jumping up and down... in fact if I remember correctly... I did tell you to kick him out... but your excuse at the time was: "I need to get my ducks in a row first."
