I'm not criticizing you, but it occurs to me that you may have to consider accepting his addiction to and preoccupation with screens of all types and things like not telling S goodnight etc. for up to a year or so. Everything you say, even though it is correct and about things that are polite and important (playing with S before bed instead of fooling with phone or whatever) he takes as a controlling critique. You did a good job apologizing, but I'm afraid he writes those things down on his list of ways you have not changed. What would happen if you put his occasional checked out ness at the bottom of the list of things to be solved for now? It seems like when something positive goes on (like the relaxed night you shared), you want more because it seems like more should be there. It SHOULD. But it's not. So this may be another thing you have to accept for awhile. Just a thought. Also, I feel for you about getting snapped at rudely and then being the one to have to apologize. I also experience that. I just try to think of the times I have done that myself in the past and figure he gets some too (though not forever).
