A cheated cheater 2

[undefeated]

Thanks, WhatNow. Signed up for MOMS club and waiting to be approved. All the ideas were great! And I met another mom last night at McDonald's - the indoor play place is very popular on rainy days.

I've been doing so well these last few days...until last night. There were a number of factors involved in me falling to little pieces, and I know sometimes we just have bad nights, but it was still lousy. Went and got prints of some pictures of the boys for our walls. While I was doing that I also got prints of the pictures I'll need if I go to my H's chain of command. So that was not my happiest moment of the evening. And my H didn't call last night. I have been really happy that he had started calling every night. And I was using my Db techniques - polite and friendly, but not lingering; ending the conversation myself; having "things to do." But as I lay in bed last night I wondered if these phone calls have been his way of reaching out to me and he feels snubbed when I don't want to talk. On top of the other small stressors I haven't been sleeping well.

So last night was tearful and miserable and today I feel like a puffy-eyed zombie. The worst part is, when I cry and don't get much sleep I am completely useless the next day...and children do not care.

But today is another day, even if it is a zombie day. And if he calls tonight I will not let on that I was sad he didn't last night.

I often feel like my H is much better at all of this than I am. And that is worrisome too, I guess. Everything we do as DBers is to move forward with our lives, proving to our spouse that we will be happy with or without them. I'm sometimes afraid that my H really has moved forward and is quite content to be happy without me; no more interest in being happy with me. I know, it's not over 'til it's over. Like I said, rough night...