My H even went as far as responding "so anyone I meet you will not allow the kids around"?
My response: "No just this craigslist ___ (fill in the blank) or any other ___ you decide to meet on craigslist"!
sorry folks - but advertising yourself on craigslist!! really ..
LNG Me - 37 H - 42 S - 19 D - 16 D - 14 M - 20 years S - 1/11/2010 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1942142&page=1
I've been sick to my stomach...not sure why maybe because I know this is becoming a reality. Nothing really has changed except that I know this is what I have to do. I'm sad that it has come to this. I do NOT want to go back to how I was...by that I mean dealing with stress and all these emotions. I've come a long way and need to stay strong. My stomach has been in a knot for the last day or so. I haven't had an appetite. I've got a lawyer in mind, been recommended by a few people. My dad has offered to pay for the divorce, that's how strongly he feels about it. Which helps because I understand they are expensive. I guess I'm grieving. So much history together, been with him since high school. Never dated anyone else. We've experienced so much together, share a child. Can't imagine being with anyone else but what has occured in the last 2.5 years isn't healthy. Not for myself, not for Jack. Mourning the man that once was I guess for 10/13 years we were together. I want peace.
I am right there with ya Sister. Peace would be a good thing. I think it is time you at least meet with an attorney so you can see what your options are. I think it is great that your dad is willing to help...mine was too.
I understand the mourning too. I miss the man I married every day. Make sure you really experience all the emotions, as sucky as they are, because only then can you come out of this feeling whole.
(((Nik)))
Did you say felon?
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
My H is absolutly not the man I married right now. There is a piece of me that hopes that one day I find that man again and another piece of me thinks I never will.
LNG Me - 37 H - 42 S - 19 D - 16 D - 14 M - 20 years S - 1/11/2010 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1942142&page=1
Hey Just wanted to chime in on the custody thing. It isn't good for your child that his dad hasn't kept him much, but it IS good for your case.
My attorney told me from the beginning, "What is temporary often becomes permanent"...Meaning, if you can show that the pattern has been for you to have your child, the courts will often agree to keep it that way. Because given the opportunity, your husband has not made the effort to keep him overnight, so it shows a precedent that you have primary custody...hope that makes sense!
Thanks everyone for checking in. I need this support so much! I'd find it hard to believe that the judge would rule in his favor since I'm stability for our son. He's been with me from day one.
Lost - I know what you mean. I think I've come to terms with the fact that my H will probably never be that man again. Which I'm ok with. It's the person he is and has been for the 2.5 years that I can't stomach.
Lol - yes felon. 4-5x over. Terroristic threats -3x, kidnapping, meth user. I cannot believe he would chose to be with someone like that. I told him if these are the types of women you are attracted to you I'm DEFINITELY not the woman for you anymore. She is going to prison in a few months for 4+ years. He will find someone else ....
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Nikbondiew Thank you so much for following my thread.
My first H did the same thing to me that your H is doing to you. The woman he ended up married too (and still is, 15+ years) is a crack head, in and out of jail and in and out of rehab. They have 2 kids together, and she even lost the chance to be around them for a while. However, my XH keeps taking her back. I used to be happy that he was suffering and that his life turned out so bad for what he did to me (I caught him in our bed with 2 women at the same time). Now I feel very sad for him, and wish his life would turn around. We share a son together, who is now 21, and I had custody because of this women he was with. If you can believe it, we talk sometimes about his problems and I tell him how sorry I am for him. I am still very close to his family and have been since we divorced, and that had helped me tons to have their support. Are you close to his family at all?
Up until my recent problems with my current H, I was able to look back and say that what happened to me in my first M was the best thing ever because I found this wonderful new man. And I still believe that he is a wonderful man, that is why I’m fighting to save my M. I just want you to know that I too had never dated anyone else before my first H, and I was so scared. You will love again and be loved again, even better than ever. Hang in there, and I’m so sorry for your pain.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
That's how I feel....happy that he is suffering but then I end up feeling bad for even thinking those thoughts. Want him to hurt like he's hurt me. I'm sure he is suffering/hurting but in different ways. He uses alcohol, women, everything in an addictive form to compensate. Well, his family is pretty supportive with me, sympathetic I guess you could say but very much still "holic" in their behavior with him, codependent, not sure that will ever change quite honestly. They definitely contribute to his illness.
Your post really touched me. It was comforting to hear you will love again, and more importantly be loved again. People say that to be given what I've been through and I do want to believe them I do just not sure it will happen.
At this point....I haven't had been in contact with my H since Tuesday when our son was in the hospital. He continues to text me each day but I don't respond. I'm hoping to meet with a lawyer next week.
