1) Communications we text each other everyday now to ask about each others days or if she is bored she text me whatever. Do I continue this after I move out or let her initiate all communications?
2) We have been meeting for lunch about once every two to three weeks do I keep this up?
3) What about problems at the house do I go over and handle it or tell her to deal with it and I will check it out when I have my weekend/week at the house.
I know anything with the kids gets dealt with right away but its the other incidentals I'm talking about.
There are some fine lines here so those of you that have done this hopefully can give me some pointers. I want to continue to be the great guy I am but I don't want to be her push over either. Also if you know of some other pit falls that would be helpful also.
Tim
You're getting ahead of yourself. You're not even out the door yet, dear friend. All of these things will depend on how you feel once you walk out the door. How she reacts once you walk out the door.
This action (leaving) is significant. Please do not treat it like nothing has changed. Much will change.
What you've been doing isn't working, or you wouldn't be moving out. I'm not saying you should discontinue contact. But, it's going to be different and it's hard to see right now.
Be open to communication, but not obligated. Without a formal separation agreement, you are still married - therefore anything she does affects you and you her. So upkeep of the house is in both your best interests. Issues with the kids you may want to handle on a case by case basis.
You do need to set boundaries. One thing I've learned from reading your posts is you've been carrying her across puddles for a long time. Stop it. You're over thinking this. Stop it. Let go. It's your choice, it's a good choice for you and you will be fine.
