Question

[Lucky11too]

Definitely keep an eye on that sleep apnea. I've done some research on it, and in extreme cases, it can be deadly. Obviously H is not that bad, but any level is not good as your brain gets deprived of oxygen. It does sound like your H has it though. I remember watching H sleep recently, and his whole stomach would pull in and his breath would catch. It's just so scary to any hear it.

I was reading your above post, and once your trust is broken, I know how hard it is to regain that trust. H has to realize this and be willing to help you thru the process (with the whole transparency thing). I know you can't let your guard down completely b/c you've been so hurt, but as long as he continues to be trustworthy (and for your own sake, be able to validate it thru your available sources), you have to be open in return. Change is slow, but at least he appears to be coming clean with you. Maybe watch for an opening where you can explore this more with him (I know you don't want to overwhelm him as he's just starting out, but if you are able to somehow work it in, in a positive way).

Regarding the next post, first off, poor S! =( But with H, I think it's less of a trust issue then, maybe call it, a protecting issue. You have a valid reason to be upset b/c he promised to be there for you and take care of you and S when you needed him, but he wasn't. And making excuses about why he can't answer his phone doesn't help either. It's frustrating, but try not to respond to harshly to him. In cases like this, I try to find some way to turn it into a learning experience. I know you had said H needs to feel needed, so maybe you could explain in I statements how you felt that he wasn't there for you to help him understand what you expect from him(but still appreciate the other times when he is there - like if he comes to make dinner tomorrow night). These are just such trying and rocky times for us all. We never know which way the boat is going to tip. We just have to remind each other to stay strong, and one way or another, we will get thru this!