Cyrena said: "You say you've been "up-front" about your whole relationship with "anyone to whom it might matter." It's telling that the one person one might assume it mattered the most to--your wife--is the one with whom you've never been up-front."
Yeah, I was aware of that apparent irony when I wrote that post. I have been up-front with my wife to the extent that she wants to talk about it, and even more. What more can I say? She's the opposite of the women who want to know every sordid detail and obsess over it.
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I agree, and the other people who are affected by his choice to have affairs who he hasn't been upfront with are his children and his wife's relatives, all of whom I doubt would agree with any of his justifications.
As for some of my wife's relatives, your assumption is reasonable, and I can't fault you for it, but you're wrong. I've had a number of talks with them about my situation with my wife, and even the fact that I had friendships with other women, in the context that I'm trying to work it out with my wife. Her family is also aware of her difficulties and were sincerely trying to help. But there's only so much even a parent can do with a fully grown adult child who very much has a mind of her own, and has decided that she is not interested in that kind of meddling input from her parents. So I've been around that whole merry-go-round too.
It's telling that some of her relatives "sided" with me in this whole situation, and realized how characteristically stubborn my wife was being to working on the problem with me.
