I've hit a wall.. Now what?

[talia]

Hi All,
Thanks for propping me up today! I'm just over tired - that is never a good time to explore feelings...

Flowmom - LOVE your idea - not sure its right for me. My H deserves the D papers - not the flowers.

Pearl - You are totally right - thats why I'm confilicted. I wouldn't give the man H is being right now the time of day... ever. So thats how I'm treating him. He dosen't deserve anything more than that and I'm not in a place to give any more than that. I have no way of knowing if he's still involved with OW so I have to assume things are as they were last I had any facts. His behavior has changed slightly, but the immatureity and anger is still just under the surface. I can't be married to that man... no matter what. Unless he does some major 180's and gets some IC there's no way we could reconcile - even if he called tomorrow and said "I want to come home". Thats what has me emotional - not the actual D because I've accepted that as a possible outcome, but how do I do what's best for me and reconcile that to my values in marriage. I requested "Love Must Bet Tough" from the library... I don't like Dobson either but I've been told by several people that it will help. I'm glad I have several more weeks to get ahold of my feelings. That makes me feel empowered.

I'm just feeling today - not sorting or deciding. I'm not in a place to sort or decide but I do have to honor the feelings...

ON A GREAT NOTE... The meetup group was awesome. I met a whole bunch of nice people and I'm going again!!! Yeah for new friends!! I almost didn't go, but I made myself and I'm so glad that I did!

OH - Pearl - I'll totally meet up with you when I'm in Denver. I will be planning a trip sometime this summer! I'm looking forward to that very much!

Off to try and sleep. Talk to you all tomorrow!

T