The adventure chronicles

[AFWAW]

GH31,
You are correct. I still want my wife to fulfill her responsibility as a mom regardless if we reconcile or not. My daughter has already drawn her own conclusions about what type of person and what kind of lifestyle my wife has choosen to lead this past year and not because anything that I have said but from instances of admission bymy wife and through observations while I was away in Iraq and how much her mom was not around when I got home.

Well, I'll update quickly. I am tdy to another base right now for a week and my wife had asked for my daughter's sake that she be allowed to stay at our marital home instead of her apartment so my daughter would not have to adjust her routine so drastically. (I didn't think it was that drastic) I asked my daughter if she would be comfortable with that and she said NO! When I asked why, she said that it would feel like she was intruding on her everyday life. A pretty good point. I decided to let my wife stay there anyway but I had a talk with her regarding the interaction she should have with my daughter should be slow and calculated as she was not used to having her around for a year and that she had been through enough and didn't need her routine messed up with added drama. My wife was receptive to that.

Now, regarding us, she is still begging to come home but I still have my concerns. So far, she has promised to be committed to me exclusively and has said that she has signed up for counseling but has still not attended for some reason. Every time I bring it up she gets angry(controlling behavior perhaps??? I'm not sure but it is uncomfortable).

Having some time alone has given me some time to reflect about our marriage and I have come to the conclusion that we have never communicated honestly to each other throughout our marriage. So, what do I mean by that? I think that we kind of just lived our lives and never talked about important things. When we did usually we would disagree and she would get very angry so I think I just choose not to talk about them anymore which wasn't healthy. I think I should be able to say what I want without her reacting in an angry manner on every thing she disagrees about.

I'm still really struggling with which way to go on this. She seems really remorseful but there really is a lot of damage. I am struggling at times to believe that she is sincere and am asking myself what are her true intentions? She's made statements about not getting to see her daughter and about how her finances have suffered(I assume because she has gone in debt to furnish her apartment and buy her new car). And then there's days where she talks about how she regrets treating me the way that she did. So, I really don't know which way to go at times or what to think. Part of me still wants to work this out and the other part of me says to hell with it, nothing is worth this much work.

I wonder how many folks feel the way that I do?