Trying LRT - Please Help!

[Gardener]

m03,
I'm late to the party again, but

The meeting with the L today was very informative and she confirmed everything that I suspected. She did some number crunching for me. Since we would be splitting the time/cost with the kids 50/50 the most I would receive for child support would be $6/month. Yes, six stinking dollars. It is possible that I would also be eligible for $300/month for up to 3 years in alimony.

How about getting another lawyer to do that number crunching for you and see what he/she comes up with? And, of course, since it's six lousy bucks (for now), TAKE the alimony!

I liked the L and will probably retain her when the time comes.

There should be more factors than "like". Again, I'd get a second opinion.

For right now, here are the options as I see it.
A.) Do nothing and wait for H to make a move. Financially it would make sense for me to wait as right now H is paying me $500/month for household expenses.

This gets my vote, fwiw.

Is it possible for a LBS to cake-eat?

Yes.

Back in mid-December he mentioned mediation as a cheaper way to D and that he would like to take this route. I would like to interview the mediator prior to setting up a meeting but I haven’t heard back from H.

Interview the mediator anyway. Interview several. Beware mediation, though: some have been suspected of "siding" with the party that originally contacts/contracts them. Some have been suspected of "siding" with the same-gender client. AND, unlike traditional L to L divorce, with mediation, you are always in the same room together and the same toxic dynamic and emotions that brought you to this point in the first place permeate the room and taint every discussion, every decision. (can you tell I just went through mediation? Had to bring in separate Lawyers last week and today ($$) to finally straighten it all out.)
imho, fwiw.

[Gardener]

m03,

The more I think through my sitch, I believe that I have now shifted into a new role as the WAW to an extent. Is that even possible?

Yes. And common.

The one thing I don’t get is back in September and October H said he wanted a D. Then back in December H said he still wanted a D. Fast forward to the present. H has made no move to start this process. I just don’t understand. If he wants a D so bad, than why not get it over with?

Ambivalence? Conflicted? Guilt? Second thoughts? Status Quo? Procrastination? Who knows? What's your gut tell you? Anything?

In my opinion, he is just chicken sh!t.

And, yeah, there's always that.
Again: imho. fwiw.

[Gardener]

I broke down tonight and cried. Haven't done that in awhile.

I just found out that H is planning on taking a ski trip to Colorado. I don't know why this bothers me so much. I guess because I want to be there with him.

That and the fact that he is gal'ing without me. Plus I am still not sure where he is getting money for that trip and the new big flat screen TV he just bought.

Perfectly normal reaction. I've been there, too.
I'm sorry.

[GH31]

I broke down tonight and cried. Haven't done that in awhile.

I just found out that H is planning on taking a ski trip to Colorado. I don't know why this bothers me so much. I guess because I want to be there with him.

That and the fact that he is gal'ing without me. Plus I am still not sure where he is getting money for that trip and the new big flat screen TV he just bought.

My heart goes out to you motherof3, it really does. That really does suck. It is OK to feel like **** every now and again.

[motherof3]

G - Thanks for the comments. You have given me some food for thought. I haven't heard from you in awhile. I am glad you are back.

You are sounding great, btw.

GH31 - I know that breaking down every now and then is perfectly normal and ok. It just makes me feel very pitiful and weak. Then I get pissed off for even letting thoughts of H creep back into my brain.

[motherof3]

Today at pre-school S4 decided it would be fun to stick a rock in his ear.

H has the kids tonight so I didn't know until H called me asking for my adivce/opinion. Get out of here. Let me repeat. H wanted to know my opinion on how to handle the situation. Should he take S4 to the doc now (meaning 24 hr clinic) or wait until tomorow morning for our regular ped.

I expressed my opinion and told him to keep me posted.

This is a step in the right direction for co-parenting. A couple of months ago H would have never asked me. Instead when he had a parenting/sick kid question he would call D2's daycare provider to get advice.

[mindfull]

Mo3 - I was thinking about the call to the daycare when I started reading your post.

Excellent!!!

A rock in the ear, huh? Best we ever had was a marble in a nose.

[givingitmyall]

Mo3 - I was thinking about the call to the daycare when I started reading your post.

Excellent!!!

A rock in the ear, huh? Best we ever had was a marble in a nose.

My sister stuck an english pea up her nose.

[motherof3]

So far we have been through stiches, black eyes, a stick up the nose, and now a pebble in the ear.

So far no broken bones. Knock on wood.

[flowmom]

Mo3, glad to hear that there's been progress on coparenting. Like H and I, you have a lot of years of coparenting ahead of you. It's really quite daunting. In our case, our children will be dependent on us for longer than we've been married so far, and almost as long as our entire relationship.