Well, that just stinks! Six bucks, huh? Wow! Don't spend it all in one place!!
I think you should cake eat if it keeps you in your house awhile longer, and, hey nothing's selling now anyhow!!! I agree w/Dane, though. Your kids are young. It's no fun, but they will adjust, IF YOU DO!!! Easy to say, harder to live...
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
On Monday night, S6 wanted to cash in his free pizza coupon with the school Book-it program. So off we go to Pizza Hut. S6 also wanted to invite H to join us. I wasn’t thrilled but said okay and just assumed H would say no. I had S6 call and invite him to meet us at the restaurant. To my surprise, H said yes. I wasn’t really in the mood to face H but I made it through the meal. No earth shattering events or conversations took place. It just felt rather awkward.
Since then H has tried to reach me the last couple days both at work and on my cell phone. I just haven’t been picking up the phone. At night when I call the kids, H doesn’t ask to speak to me, so I just leave it at that.
The more I think through my sitch, I believe that I have now shifted into a new role as the WAW to an extent. Is that even possible? I am at a point right now that I just don’t care anymore. I don’t have anything left to give. Not that H would want to take anything that I offered anyway. I truly feel that the only reasons I have not filed for D at this point is because of financial reasons and the kids. If money issues are the only thing that is stopping me, then I guess I am okay with cake-eating for awhile. After all, H is still helping with the bills. And the kids? At this point, I don’t want to be the one to file first and explain to the kids that I initiated the process of breaking up their family. However, I am not sure how long I will be able to hold this stance. I want to move on with my life.
The one thing I don’t get is back in September and October H said he wanted a D. Then back in December H said he still wanted a D. Fast forward to the present. H has made no move to start this process. I just don’t understand. If he wants a D so bad, than why not get it over with? I am sure he would say something to the effect that the holidays came up and the past couple of months he has been busy at work and traveling. I think those are just excuses. In my opinion, he is just chicken sh!t.
Me & H: 33 yrs S: 4 & 6 D: 2 M: 9 yrs ILYBNILWY: 8/09 SEPARATED: 9/09 The Beginning
Mo3 - Considering the economic climate, I see nothing wrong w/you cake eating right now. Hey, if he wants the D. let him make the first move! In the meantime, you can rest peacefully in your home.
BookIt! Oh, I remember those days! S10 is on his last year of those... Good times! The only drawback is that now Pizza Hut has those pastas. Odd, but true... They are awesome! I don't think that goes w/the witches brew tea diet!
What do you do for a job???
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
If accepting your H's financial help is better for your children, then I would recommend doing that. He is still married to you, and IMO you are not cake-eating. I agree that I would not want to be the one accelerating the D process. It wasn't your idea, but if you're the one to actually initiate the process, that fact will probably be known to your children in the future. Your H is probably scared, and he should be.
It sounds like a hard place to be. Take care.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
I broke down tonight and cried. Haven't done that in awhile.
I just found out that H is planning on taking a ski trip to Colorado. I don't know why this bothers me so much. I guess because I want to be there with him.
That and the fact that he is gal'ing without me. Plus I am still not sure where he is getting money for that trip and the new big flat screen TV he just bought.
Me & H: 33 yrs S: 4 & 6 D: 2 M: 9 yrs ILYBNILWY: 8/09 SEPARATED: 9/09 The Beginning
I broke down tonight and cried. Haven't done that in awhile.
I just found out that H is planning on taking a ski trip to Colorado. I don't know why this bothers me so much. I guess because I want to be there with him.
That and the fact that he is gal'ing without me. Plus I am still not sure where he is getting money for that trip and the new big flat screen TV he just bought.
(((((MO3))))). I had a good cry last week. They happen. For me, it's like unloading a lot of pent up hurt and poison. So, it's ok. We aren't robots.
On teh financial front, are you keeping a close eye on the money? Do you have joint accounts or are the finances separate? Sorry, I don't remember.
It is tough not being a family. I go my first taste of that this past weekend. And while it's going tot ake some getting used to, we will pull through and be ok. You're on my prayer list.
It's funny how certain things trigger the pain. I found out about a trip that my H is planning this summer, and I felt so sad. It's something that we would have done together in the past and now the door is shut in my face.
take care.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
On the financial front, are you keeping a close eye on the money? Do you have joint accounts or are the finances separate?
Yes, I am keeping a close eye on the money. At least the money I have access to. At the time H moved out he setup his own checking account. I don’t have access to this and have no idea what is going in and out of that account. I can only guesstimate what income he brings in every month as it varies since he is in sales (base plus commission).
I handle all joint accounts, including checking, savings, credit cards, etc. He hasn’t touched them since he moved out. I also pay all of the household bills. Each month he gives me a check to cover ½ of the daycare costs plus $500 to help make ends meet.
Originally Posted By: givingitmyall
You're on my prayer list.
Thanks GIMA.
Originally Posted By: mindfull
A good cry, huh? Mine are daily!!! I'm proud of you for being able to control your emotions.
Daily? I would have never guessed. (((Mindfull)))
Quote:
It is a wonder how he's able to finance everything!!!
IDK. Maybe a yearend bonus? Good sales this month? Credit cards? Mommy & Daddy?
Quote:
Who is he skiing with?
Not 100% sure. The only reason I found out is because a mutual friend of ours (male) was invited to go. His wife told me about the plans. Unfortunately he is not going to be able to make the trip.
Flow – Thanks for the comments. I take some comfort in knowing that others can relate to how I feel. (((Flowmom)))
Me & H: 33 yrs S: 4 & 6 D: 2 M: 9 yrs ILYBNILWY: 8/09 SEPARATED: 9/09 The Beginning
[quote=motherof3]Some days I wonder why I even want to be with a person who doesn't want me. Other days I wonder what is so wrong with meH that H doesn't even want to try.
This is more accurate, imo.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
