I agree with your words and I am gearing myself up for it...I know there may be some begging, whining etc...However I need him to learn that going back and forth just to satisfy himself isn't going to happen. I don't want to guilt him into doing it though...I want him to want to come home however it won't be on his terms. That is what I need him to understand.
"DB" your son. Validate his feelings. "I can understand how you might feel that way."
Write down and recite some firm, airtight boundaries and specific consequences.
Tell him if his father won't model and raise him as a functioning, mature, accountable MAN, you will!
"When - and if - the time comes for you to return here and follow the rules like a young MAN, that decision will have to be final and irrevocable - subject to your consistent, mature, loving behavior as a member of this family."
Insist on seeing proof: immediate, marked, and sustained improvement before any such discussion takes place.
But, you know all this.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
