Going straight forward...antlers 6th thread.

[antlers]

antlers, the part about your wife whispering to the kids about your 'fitness to parent', and forbidding counseling for them, is not healthy. This is the exact thing that the Judge in our case warned us both not to do.
She is making a big mistake.
But enough about her, how do you choose to respond?
Be the better choice. Kids have pretty good BS radar. While Co-Dependent tactics may work a while (lying, using kids to do the grown-ups' work, avoidance) eventually it gets harder and harder to keep all the balls in the air.
Me, I'm using the Patience method, with a side order of Praying for Him to Crash and Burn approach.
I trust that God is watching out for me and my kids (and even my lousy STBX).

Hi goldeylox.

She doesn't 'whisper' anything to them. She makes sure they get it loud and clear. I know it's not healthy...she doesn't care! Her priority is her, and what she wants. The kids are weapons to her, something she uses to hurt me with. Her behavior is remarkably selfish. She knows I love our kids, and they love me. Yet, she's still doing this.
I know it's a mistake...but God himself couldn't convince her right now that she's doing anything wrong!
This is hard. I wouldn't wish this on someone that I despised!