Back here, for the second time... #69

[AliSuddenly]

"I dont know what to do. I am wondering if I should push harder, stick to my guns without the slightest hesitation or just open my arms to him and guide him to my heart again."

Its a no brainer isnt it? Afterall, you got what you wanted, what you came here for.. you won him back, the A ended, he LOVES you, he wrote you a letter from the heart..which is what you have been telling us all you wanted him to do. Are you going to turn around and end it now? Why? That would be "cutting your nose off to spite your face"?... finally you are getting somewhere (slowly still!!!) you should... love him. Open your heart and welcome him in yes.

I kept saying, over and over, watch your communication with him, you are very strong and he may feel that you so strong in how you communicate that it leaves him at a loss or that his opinions/thoughts are useless, worthless. This was something bf said to me about how he felt before the bomb and I had to admit that he was right zs I too am a strong woman, a strong communicator but also yes, very soft and emotional (a paradox hey!). So I have turned that around and now I listen and I mean really listen.

For example, when your H said you have the show Friday, your answer was to state, "but you are not coming" - ask yourself, was that really the loving or most helpful response? How would it have made you feel if he had been that way with you? He tries, I know its not enough, but he tries.

Ok, so I thikn you should open your heart to him, drop all these protective mechansims, walls, barriers, "strength" - if it comes from a place of fear (protecting oneself from further hurt) then my BGF said, thats not being strong really, its a weakness and it wont serve you well.

So how to respond... well you need to talk, but for now, have you thanked him for the letter at least? How about acknoweldging you understand just how hard it may have been for him to write you such a letter and therefore that you appreciate it all the more and that you love him too...

Just leave it at that for now? No pushing, just an acknowledgement or some reassurance. He is probably very down, very afraid. Lost I thikn you or someone said.

xxx