Onwards and upwards!

[P17]

I've been meaning to post an update about the weekend for a little while now. And with newmama's prompting, here it goes

I drove to the ferry on Friday. The weather here was awful. Snow on the roads. Car accidents. No gritters or snow ploughs. I got stopped for around 40 minutes just 30 miles south of where I live in a convoy of cars and lorries. Nearly run into the back of a van. Lorries couldn't get up the hills etc. etc. I left in plenty of time so 40 minutes would make it tight but not un-doable.

Traffic on the way down was very slow. To cut a long story short I was about 40 miles short. Didn't make the ferry. Okay no problem. I would get the one the next day.

So I called a girl I know that stayed reasonably close and asked if I could stay there. We had got to know each other a little a while ago and stayed in touch. Nothing happening, just one of those friends things. So I stayed over with her. My plan was to get the ferry the next morning.

That night the friend and I were talking. I am in a different place now. I am done with the M. It's over. Finished. Gone. Dead. I wanted no more to do with it or W. As far as I was concerned I was a single man just waiting for the D. We decided to see how things would go between us and we had a really good night (minds out of the gutter chaps - vows still intact :))

Consequently, we stayed up almost all night and I didn't make the ferry that morning. Wasn't a biggie as the roads would still be bad that early in the morning (I would have left at 7am). So I went to get the ferry at 6pm.

Left in plenty of time yet again. Got slowed down a little but by the time I reached the closest city to the ferry I had 55 minutes to do 40 miles. Perfect. Roads were clear. I was doing 80mph without any issues. Of course, that was until 30 miles from the ferry terminal. It started to snow. Okay, I thought I'll give it 10 miles of this slow driving and see if it clears as the roads up to that point had been fine.

5 miles down the road and I had to pull over. Couldn't go on. Snow was about a foot deep on the road. Couldn't see where I was going. Called my friends and told them I wouldn't make it over. Decided to go home. Drove the 5 miles back to where the snow started and it was like the Bermuda Triangle. No snow, roads clear. Behind me, blizzards. As my friend said when I called them, it wasn't meant to be. I actually felt like something was trying to stop me getting that ferry - twice in two days I tried but freak weather stopped me.

Anyway. I drove 15 miles or so and though, I wonder if my friend fancies company over the weekend. My holiday was a blow-out but we could have a nice time. So I texted her and she said that would be great.

So I got there and spent the remainder of Saturday and all day Sunday with her and her two girls. We had a great time. Went to see Avatar (overhyped) with her 7 year old D, held hands and surprisingly enough I had a fantastic time. No guilt. No thoughts about W. No thoughts about anything actually. Just trying to indulge in the moment. It was just really nice. Felt more relaxed around her than I ever have with anybody else (including when I started dating W). I can talk. I can be me. I can just open myself up (a little - baby steps here) and it's just all fine.

So, that was my weekend. Things have gone further since then and we have started telling people about each other. Just that we have met each other. Nothing silly. Things are moving at a rockets pace and while I am worried about it, it actually just feels nice. It feels fine. It feels good. No wedding bells or anything silly. Just two people who seem to click having a really nice time with each other. I am constantly watching things though and will pull back as soon as things go the wrong way.

I feel good about it. I don't feel I'm filling a gap that W left with my friend. I don't feel I'm doing anything other than enjoying her company. I am going back down to see her on the Valentines Day weekend (the next weekend I have free - no other significance). She will then be coming to see me the second weekend after that.

It feels nice to have somebody tell you your good points, how attractive they find you (and she really does dig me!). The best bit of all of this is she had a few crises with friends over the last few days. The self help books, the understanding, forgiveness and all the other stuff us LBS's learn just kicked in and it really bowled her over. This stuff is just natural to me now. I slip up like everybody else but I've also surprised myself by how much I've really come on. This friend has done more for me than she could imagine outside of any relationship we may have. I have evaluated and verified that I have changed. These changes are real and permanent. I really do like who I am now.

The one thing I hate about this? I know the new 'honeymoon' period that we are embarking upon in the relationship, a kind of love that we all get at the start. It's not magic. It's not fairytales. It's effing chemicals in the brain It kind of ruins the whole mystique for me!!

So there you have it. P was done with the M and W. Now he has a potential new relationship with a wonderful girl. Will it go the distance? Absolutely no idea. DO I want it to? Again, no idea. Am I going to get on with life and see where it goes? Absolutely.

And just to end this part, my friend is the same age as me and has two girls - D7 and D12. I remember reading in this forum once about how difficult it is to find somebody who will want them when they had kids. I never thought twice about this and she has one who is about to become a rebellious teenager. I love kids ... couldn't a whole one, but I love them.

So P, the LBS is now in fact a WAS. I did it the right way though. I tried to fix the M before we separated and after. I can look myself in the mirror and say I did everything that I could to fix it. WAW killed the M. Not me.

Solicitor, house and moving front is going very slowly. I have been very busy the last few days so haven't had a chance to do much with it all. Haven't heard back from my L. Will chase that tomorrow. Haven't chased the flats. Doing that tomorrow. Plans haven't changed though ... getting out of here asap.

Finally, the friends I was TRYING to go and see at the weekend called last night. They are getting married! Booked the date - 4 December.

2x4's, advice, comments, or complaints to the usual address ... I'm still here.

P.S. Cutter, why exactly are out stories so damn similar and at the same times too ...