How could you possibly expect to build anything with your W if you do not even understand validation?
Your goal is not to be a good co-parent for your daughter, you goal is to co-parent with your W. Your daughter needs a mom and a dad to parent even if the mom and dad are divorced.
Yes, you do need to GAL but you also need to educate yourself on the basics (validation, boundary setting and co-parenting).
If you admit you are being resistant how can you be upset with your W for the same thing? All you are doing is creating a power struggle that will build with such force it will be close to impossible to stop.
How can you refuse to do any "family events" with your W that does not involve co-parenting if you don't even know what co-parenting entails?
Basically it seems you wanted your W and family back but decided wanting it was enough and nothing more was required on your part other than desire. When that plan backfired it is easier to blame your W and OM instead of examining what you CAN change. (hint: you can change you).
You want your W to change but you don't want to change.
