You really must stop putting so much focus on your H. Plain and simple. Every post you make is all about your H, his issues, his problems and why you feel he behaves a certain way.
If he is stressed, financially crippled, sleep deprived or any other "thing" there isn't a thing you can do about it nor should you try.
You must drop ALL expectations you have with your H. You are correct, it most probably would not kill him to say something nice to you but chances are at this time he will not. He is stuck in his own bubble of issues, confusion and a host of other things you may not even know about (or ever know about).
If you hate being financially dependant on your H then change it. You have options... initiate legalities to dissolve your marriage and see what sort of support he will be required to provide for you and the children OR go back to work full time and provide for yourself OR accept it without hate or the "what ifs".
While you might feel furniture is just a "thing" I would really suggest you adjust your mindset. I agree that fighting over certain things (furniture) is not worth it you are under no obligation to consent to the removal of items from the marital home in order to make your H more comfortable in his bachelor pad. If your H was able to purchase you a bed in order to take the bed the two of you own then he could have easily purchased his own bed. I certainly would not be so accommodating to him. And, I would highly suggest you NOT refer to any jointly owned property as "thing" in e-mail or verbally to your H. Should you divorce that may come back to bite you when you divide things up.
IMO you are still accommodating your H's issues but you are simply doing it another way. Stop. No matter what you do you can't make his issues go away and it blocks you from addressing your own issues and future.
