For the record, I DO believe in communicating with OM/OW's spouse, in order to discern the truth of the situation. It's that "verify" part of the "Trust -- but verify" thing that I espouse. But there are ways to do it without having all four of you present. "Just to see the look on their face" is for bad chick-flick "Disease of the Week" movies on Lifetime, usually staring Valerie Bertinelli. The entertainment value, as sweet as that would be, isn't worth the huge risks, DB-wise.
