great advice in both posts...i'm so grateful to have someone help keep me in check - especially since that whole support group experience was SO AWFUL!
your thoughts on being the driver with my interactions makes total sense...my mom says the same things, just to not let him call all the shots. and i like the idea of slipping in a compliment to my response, because he really always WAS good at providing for me although i know i didn't always make him feel that way.
you know, i thought for the last 2 years that boy was my H lucky to have found me because i was just about the most perfect wife ever. all of this has knocked me off my high horse and made me realize that i have just as much work to do on myself as he does, so at the very least i have to credit him with making me see that i have made a LOT of mistakes over the course of our R and M, and had all of this not gone down, i may have kept on for years letting him have all the responsibility for making our marriage work, without ever realizing that i had work to do, too. i don't mean to say he pointed out that i'm an awful person, because that's not the case, but he did call me out on some behavior that i had never noticed and that is certainly not befitting of the person and partner that i WANT to be.
this whole experience has also brought me closer to god than i've ever been in my life. i've finally found a church that i love, where i feel like i belong, and i'm slowly learning to just let go of the death grip i've had on life and just trust that god will take care of me. this week's sermon is on the messiness of love. i plan to be in the front pew for that one.
(((talia)))!!!
thanks!
Me30 H29 M2.5 T5 H moved out 1/23/2010 H wants signed agreement 3/30/2010 ...feeling hopeless
