What you seem to be missing is you are not in a healthy place to have your W come back. You have not done the work on you therefore the R would eventually contain the same destructive elements that caused the demise the first time around.
The LBS that does the work simply to "attract" their WAS back will fail each time. The work must be authentic and genuine and for you and YOU only.
You have NO control over your WAS. The work is for you and becoming the best person you can be so your present and future is wonderful either way.
You have not even mastered the basic skill set of validation, listening, no pursuit and setting boundaries. You are still highly reactive. OM is not the problem he simply is a product of a marriage gone wrong.
You can listen or not, it's up to you. I have noticed the latest crop of new posters are so intently focused on their WAS they are overlooking what they should be doing. We all get it, we have all been there. I think most of us that have "been there" wish we would have grasped the concepts we now *really* understand the moment we learned about them.
You are furious your WAS is being so resistant. In a way you are doing the same thing. You are being resistant to the only path available to you to create a better man, parent and life.
