how do i keep my hope alive?

[trytryagain]

talia and OTM-

shouldn't i be working the last resort method now anyway, since my H no longer lives with me? i don't want to ignore the sound advice of anyone here, but it does feel awfully strange to me to completely ignore and not respond to an email from my H letting me know that he's set up his paycheck to direct deposit into our joint account so i can continue paying my bills and expenses. it doesn't feel like an issue i need to "drop the rope" on, because we are at a phase where we do still have joint financial responsibilities and ignoring him on that front seems...i don't know, i guess kind of cold. i wasn't going to write him some weepy email, just a thanks for setting that up kind of response.

and while it did make me think some "what if" kind of stuff last night, seeing that guy i'd dated really only left me missing my H even more.

talia, i signed up for acro-yoga classes! that's YOGA + ACROBATICS!!! i could not be any more excited. i've fallen away from my yoga practice in the last year and am so eager to get back into it...my first class is tonight and i'm starting with a simple flow yoga to find some zen and remind my body of what it's been missing! i am also planning to go on a week-long trip down to new orleans in march to do some volunteer community rebuilding work through my church - another thing i've been wanting to do for YEARS but have never found the time.

the support group was the MOST DEPRESSING THING ON EARTH. everyone else there was dealing with dividing major assets (like houses) and had awful, traumatic stories like not seeing their spouses for 4 years (but still not divorced), restraining orders placed that kept people from seeing their children, affairs, marriages crumbling in less than a year...it actually made me feel worse than better. and i was the only person in there who didn't WANT a divorce. but it was at least helpful to gain some legal knowledge, i suppose. but still. talk about a room full of debbie downers! everyone's story is different, i know, but not one single person was interested in saving their marriage...