i have to laugh about it a little. i mean what are the chances from 10 feet that a women that has never played sports(h3ll i've never seen her throw anything) can hit a target in the dark.
at least it did not hit my eye.
Well, even then . . . and even if it blinded your eye . . . it WOULD just be the first time . . .
eded to wait until we resolved our situation before I did anything else. It's been one of my few good decisions.
I would do something about your credit cards too. Puppy advised me to do this, and I didn't quite do it soon enough. I'm now faced with a possible extra 5k I didn't want.
Cannon: I remember what I was thinking too. I didn't want to escalate the situation by antagonizing her MORE. I figured I would just watch carefully. AFTERALL, we had talked in detail about her upcoming college fee's and how she would get a personal loan for them. We had been delaying paying off the home equity line in order to pay for her college, because she gets a big raise when she graduates, which I will now never see.
Even when she took all the cash, I still wanted to give her that small amount of trust. The day after she charged her college fee's to the credit card, I called and canceled it. She was super pissed, but respects what I did. things got a lot calmer.
We can always get another credit card, IF we ever reconcile.
M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09 Awoken's Current Thread
last night W and I were forced into a conversation with the kids. it went well, i let W do all of the talking and I just corrected all of the We's to I's and expressed my disappointment and feelings about the sitch.
I was told this morning that communication with the out of state OM has ended. How do i address the transparency?
she still does not want any R with me.
calling a domestic center today to get details on filing police report. that is going to be tough, but she is still thinking that i pushed her so much she threw the phone. it's sending the wrong message to the kids to allow this blame.
i'm continuing the GAL and 180s.
how about this 180. very few of our friends know the sitch. in my past life i would ignore the sitch and not tell anyone, how about i put it on my FB account?
i have stopped all of the "for hire" stuff and i can see it making an impact, the house is starting to get cluttered.
i started a new job, so she has to be much more responsible for getting the kids to and from stuff.
M=37 W=40 Married=10,T=12 D=10 D=8 WAW Bomb=1/12 EA confirmed=1/13 EA exposed=1/27 Current In house separation
I say forget about any FB plans. It's one thing to to seek out help, its another to be a martyr and attention seeking.
My sitch was the same there was no real choice for W to make about 3 in a R. I was already out. So, now she'll know I'm out. And I will be OK w/ that. And maybe have a choice one day.
I was told this morning that communication with the out of state OM has ended. How do i address the transparency?
she still does not want any R with me.
Then you've answered your own question. You can only ask for transparency if/when she wants to reconcile, and asks you "What will it take?" or says "I'll do whatever it takes!"
Without that, if she says the OM contact has ended, just say "I wish I could believe you" or something similar. If you think she's struggling, and trying to sincerely throw it out there, then you can ask "Are you telling me this because you want to come back and work on the marriage? If so, then let's discuss that. If not, then I really don't care what you tell me about that, because you're probably just lying to me again anyway. Please don't bring it up again until you're ready to get serious about working on the marriage."
the reason i ask about the FB is the W said "why don't you just put it on FB" and i said nobody reads it anyway. i said to W "i posted that i started one job and ended another and did not get a response" in a laughing way.
it's like she is thinking "no way he would post it, so i'll test him to see if i still have the control"
again your spot on puppy
i can't understand how this is so hard for me to understand, but once i read it i'm like "duh, that is so simple"
M=37 W=40 Married=10,T=12 D=10 D=8 WAW Bomb=1/12 EA confirmed=1/13 EA exposed=1/27 Current In house separation
Its hard to understand b/c you are in a diff place than she is. She is emotionally independant of you and has no repect for you. Why would you want to continue any overly available, affectionate, or loving interactions w/ someone who doesn't respect you?
When you see that, you still may not truly feel different or better about things, but you sure can act like you do.
The less contact the better- you will start to detatch that way.
cannon, why are you waiting on filing the report? ACT!!! You have so much control and power right now, yet you chose not do anything. Don't believe a word about the OM contact ending, that is pure BS, cake eating, and lies. Forget the FB thing.
