Hi MF Sorry I didn't reply before. Hectic last few days. Next few the same.
Congrats on the FLW RETRO. Thats a project, been there, done that, but very rewarding when finished. [Did H fold in a good wine celler?]
Read your comment on D18. I had 4 teenage D's in the house, for a few years. This is what I did that seemed to work for me.
1st; Made it a rule that if asked for anything, my 'yes' or 'no', 'IS' final, no grinding for me to change my mind allowed. However, they were encouraged to to ask, and talk about my reasons, if they wanted. If they did, 9 out of 10 times, after we talked about my reasons, they agreed with my decision. Now and then, they added something that I did change my mind. But there was understanding.
2nd; No arguing in our house, period. If you want to argue and fight, go outside. Most recent example, twin D's17, who's going to wear which dress to upcoming NROTC Ball. As soon as it started, I stepped over, opened the door and held it for them. Got an instant "But she's not listening to me". Said "maybe you're not listening to her either!" 10 minutes later they were in their room laughing, trying on diff dress's, commenting which looked best to each other.
3rd; Along with step 1 and 2, found I get much better response from them by making sure to compliment them on the least little things, whether chores, school work, or how they fixed their hair that day. Making a big deal of anything they did right , or good, brought back much more of the same. They began to strive for those compliments.
Still use the same basic guidelines for D21, and D19 after they left home. Spending less time arguing, paying more attention myself to times to boost their ego has resulted in all of them striving more to receive deserved compliments. Seems to still work well for D19, and D21 even after they left home.
As for how I'm doing. Seem to be going through an 'anger' mode. Had 10 'missed calls from W yesterday, no mess. Gno suggested to call today, ask if there is something important. W has called 3 times again today, no mess. Afraid the anger I feel right now would make matters worse if I talk to W now.
How are you doing. Don't see your usual humor the last couple day's. Don't let me down now, maybe it's the moon, the stress has been hard to hold in check last couple days.
