Moving back in

[flowmom]

I finished by telling her that WE need to decide what is going to happen with the kids.. If we continue on this path, a judge will probably have to decide what happens regarding the kids, when we know the kids best and that it should be decided by us...Period

So true. Good for you! Now that your W has agreed with this, there is a basis for a working relationship. Long after the drama of your sitch abates, you'll still be coparents.

[DDogs]

Update:

went to the lawyers with my s15, D12. They stated in sworn affidavt that they wish to spend 50/50 time with both me and w. They do not want only everyother weekend with dad. That this 50/50 was never presented to them.

This will definitely be a fair compromise with me. It's the right thing to do. I also received some favorable info regarding child support. W believes she will get the total amt from me when we D. If it is 50/50 shared custody, that will not be the case. Both w and I are similar in salary.

Anyone wth child support recommendations? I would appreciate any suggestions that have worked or did not work. Just looking to be prepared

Again thanks for all of the helpful Insight and support from this forum.

[Dane]

Child support is usually dictated at the state level, but every state is a little different. If your incomes are close and you go 50/50 custody, there maybe little you have to pay. You need to research, your attorney should know this like the back of their hand.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Update:

went to the lawyers with my s15, D12. They stated in sworn affidavt that they wish to spend 50/50 time with both me and w. They do not want only everyother weekend with dad. That this 50/50 was never presented to them.

This will definitely be a fair compromise with me. It's the right thing to do. I also received some favorable info regarding child support. W believes she will get the total amt from me when we D. If it is 50/50 shared custody, that will not be the case. Both w and I are similar in salary.

I am always stunned at how ill-prepared waywards are, considering they've been fantasizing, scheming and planning, typically, for 6 months or more before they try to exit the marriage.

My wife threw around the threat of divorce multiple times after I busted her on her affair. By the time I responded and filed in order to protect myself, she hadn't even BEGUN the process of selecting an attorney, and I found notes that indicated that she was GOING THRU THE PHONE BOOK and doing INTERNET SEARCHES, just picking names out of a hat. Also had a client of hers recommend someone who wasn't even a family law attorney, and my wife actually took an appt. with this person and was leaning that way at first. She did eventually get a real sharp shark, but it took awhile.

In fact, we were more than two months into it and she didn't even know that legal S wasn't even an option in our state!!!

I'm glad you are sticking up for yourself, DDogs. Stay the course.

Puppy

[DDogs]

Actually on recommendation from other sources, I could request that the portion I would have to pay, be placed in an education account and request that the W match the amount as well,

This way I can ensure that the money will directly benefit the kids and not possibly (probably) be spent on W's hobbies..

[DDogs]

Wow. Another double 2x4

found out from w close girlfriend that w has been involved with the om at w work for the past 12 months. Also disclosed another one night stand affair she witnessed that I had not known about.

I am sick to my stomach. And the w is yelling at me because she thinks I'm upsetting the household by me moving back in.

I'm at a real low point folks

[mindfull]

DDog! Ick! My God, this is a 44 yo wife and mother! Big ick!

[luvless]

(((DD)))

a hug...can't make it better but letting u know I feel you..

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I'm so sorry, DDogs. I always found that it helped to think of my wife, when she was in the midst of her affair, as an ADDICT. It helped keep my sense of compassion (altho it was still tough, trust me!).

Hang in there, buddy.

Puppy

[DDogs]

OK.PDT, Mindful Luv, and everyone else,,, please advise..

My IC had a suggestion that I am seriously considering. IC says to make one last appt with the MC, and expose the affair in MC..this way she won't be able to "call the police" if she gets upset and there will be a MC referee as well.

I want to do this..even as my IC tells me, the W may still deny, every thing, yell or just walk out.. at least I can get it off of my chest and be done with it so I can move on. I feel that I need for my W to hear me, so I can feel like Ive dusted my hands and moved on... This is more about me now..

I'm looking for ideas, suggestions etc.. it is very hard for me to articulate statements that reflect the way I truly feel, so I'm looking for help. I can say the obvious, I'm hurt, upset, dissappointed etc, but those words seem pale to what I actually feel...

help....