I must be honest that I am tempted to contact W via text about the exchange yest between me her and OM. I should already know my place in things as I did text her yesterday w/ no reply.
I believe anything out of me today is needy and pursuing- no matter how much I think I'm wanted to be a part of her life (at least a little)- that is my fog.
I'm glad I can write this out, I think I'm finally starting to understand. I also think I should have just not replied to W yesterday after her rants- all I did was remind her that I am still here, that i am open to change, and that I do not support the D.
UGH- such a thin line to walk- does anyone have any insight on this?
Cutter you said to be DIM, was the exchange the other day even necessary or should I have just not answered?
I believe anything out of me today is needy and pursuing- no matter how much I think I'm wanted to be a part of her life (at least a little)- that is my fog.
I'm glad I can write this out, I think I'm finally starting to understand. I also think I should have just not replied to W yesterday after her rants-
Well, look on the bright side, Maynard: at least your instincts are getting better.
Its hard to get used to not having any contact with your S. Try and leave 24/48hrs between the time you think you'd like to contact W and you do. Hopefully by which time you will realised its not a good idea. Listen to the guys all of them have been there in some shape and form and I know it sounds hard but honestly its the best way to go!
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
no 2x4's from me. Good DIM contact. Just keep spacing them out. Always be civil in your replies... Every once in awhile do not reply at all. But you know all this. Some times it will feel very uncomfortable. You know then that you are learning something new. Step past your comfort zone. Embrace the suck
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
good deal- it's official that OM and his GF are no more. Let's see what happens from here- all emotional needs of W to be met by OM- Sounds like she might get bored or something- what do I know- just been w/ her for 6yrs.?!
I heard that via 3rd party. I was bored with the marriage. It was too safe, everything was easy going. No danger. I always thought wtf? Why not just go sky diving or bungie jumping. Instead of actually jumping off a bridge using me as the rock. Well I went over as well
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Same here- maybe I am the female in the R, I am all about security and consistancy. I def should have switched things up a bit. We always laughed how we were the typical FL oldfolks- going out to eat on the Ave and leaving by 6pm before everything got busy. Oh well. So W texted me lastnight that she would be over in the morning to see the dogs. House was clean I made sure to leave before she got there- she never gave a time. I did not reply to the text. I did leave a coffee cup out on the counter like I always did for her, w/ a half pot left. I also did not leave a note- a huge 180 for me. OM GF and I are in contact almost daily. It's funny that I actually give her advice on her R w/ OM. Letting her know what I've learned about boundaries, etc, etc. She gave me some insight of OM. They met when she was involved w/ someone. She started to have doubts about her R- OM was there to listen and validate- assuring her that she deserved better...sound familiar? I would love to use logic w/ W and let her know these things, but it just doesn't matter. Plus I promised OM's GF not to say anything. I am feeling pretty good about things- I can visualize the end of the M, I can feel it as well. It's funny- I was developing a bit of an EA w/ a previous gf in GA- I nixed that the other day, letting her know I don't want to involve her in my issues and it's not fair to anyone. I'll tell you though, it did numb the pain talking to her, but it feels even better to do the right thing. I actually feel OK by myself and w/ myself. I have been battling some deamons and need to do some more positive things to counter the problem. (I started gambling-not a good thing for me!!!)
