Doing hard time on the MLC chain gang.

[MHL]

I have been in Separated for some time now and have made some great friends there and have great support but realize my wife is in MLC and have been coming up here to the resource thread quite often and find the some of the topics more relevant. I had a pretty big R talk with my W tonight, and I thought this would be perfect to start a new thread. Below is a down and dirty of my sitch to date. Obviously you can get more detail from my threads, they are not that long if you have the time. The R talk is the next post down.
My sitch
July 1 bomb, find out about EA/ 1 time PA affair with #1 OM
July-Aug. 24 I am on rollercoaster doing all the wrong things
Aug. 25 I lose it and kick her out of the house, pack her bags throw them out front door ( big scene)
Sept. 1 Wife begins IC with Christian Counselor
Sept 10 I start with different IC at same Counseling Center
Oct 2 Wife begins to put distance again between us, D13 is mad w/ her b/c she is not moving back into the house like she said and not coming over often as she said.
Oct. 30 discover 2nd A with different OM confront her.
Oct 31 Wife comes to house and D13 knows everything, D13 lays into my W for lies and what she is doing, Wife tells D13 there were other men also, ONS, tells D13 she will stop seeing OM#2.
Nov. 14th Confirm W has not stopped seeing OM#2, D13 says she will never talk to her mom again, D13 says Mom is dead to her.
Nov. 16 I contact OM’s wife, (separated since July M 21yrs)
Nov 19th OM’s wife catches him and my W in bed together, gets pictures, lets them have it!!! Yeah.
Nov. 20th My W breaks it off with OM and goes to work and leaves suicide notes. W goes to hospital for a week under suicide watch. Finds out she is addicted to Sex/attention from other men.
Nov. 30 My wife hires Lawyer
Dec 19 Wife and I spend 8 hours together Xmas shopping (feels like old times)
Dec 22 Get served complaint by W’s lawyer for Sole Custody of S9,D13, financial support, legal fees, Equitable Dist. Of Assets.
Dec. 25 Wife comes over for Xmas is good time for family, D13 talking to W again
Dec. 28 Wife comes over to house to have drinks with me and best friends
Jan 2 Wife, Me, S9, D13 spend afternoon together, lunch and bowling, Family Healing.
Jan 2 midnite. FB/ bar incident, D13 is completely done with Mom.
Jan 3 lots of R talk between W and I, she admits some wrong doing but still wants to go out w friends.
Jan 5 I ask for joint MC session, I say need to set boundries.
Jan 8 wife sets up session
Jan 13 Joint MC session and give back ring tell her I’m done.

I don’t think I did a good job of being done, I did get her attention and she mentioned it again tonight. I have come to the realization that this is going to take a long, long time probably years and it has taken me the last couple of weeks not only for that to sink in but decided that I can lovingly and patiently wait while my W works this out, I do love her enough to give her that time and be strong for my kids while my W is going through this.