My Story...possible "grass is greener" scenario?

[Deep]

The central advice I've received from everyone involved leaving my ex alone and working on myself. I can still do that, in spite of the pressure/pursuing I've done with my ex...it's only been 2 months and is still early in the grand scheme of things.

I dont think what I've done has made her stance on me get worse...she wasnt confused and wondering...shes had her mind made up and was only looking for excuses to say "See it's not my fault". What happened last Friday is a perfect example, given that she said she decided to be exclusive with the OM earlier in the week, before I was still "getting chances" and spending time with her in her words.

But as I said, I can still leave her alone and work on myself (and to avoid a restraining order will do so)...but I dont see her changing. And after more than a few months of this, I cant say for certain I would want her back. I dont know that I could trust her not to do this to me again when a 51 year old or 61 year old showed her some attention that she refused to ask directly for from me like an adult.


Sometimes I wonder if it isnt all for nothing anyway. Why am I shedding even a single tear over someone who probably never gave a crap for me in the first place? You dont do this to someone you care about. And yet I do shed tears...it's sad really.

Pearl is right about the carnage here. What exactly have you done to "work on yourself"? And why are you still linking working on yourself to desired reactions from her? The amount of blame and immaturity in this thread is staggering. This is not criticism, just stating facts - it's up to you to decide if you want to acknowledge it and truly do something about it.

Thus far, you have been bleating about how much you love and care for your SO when it is patently obvious you treat her as a possession. There are ways that Cs use to help you move on if that is your mindset, it's very different from wanting the relationship and family together out of love.

And really stop blaming OM for stepping in and harming the reconciliation of your family. You're doing most of the work in that area. He's just feeding off the carcass.

Decide what you want. Helping you cope and move on depends on what you choose.