That's your justification for not trying because it was too hard for you. Nothing would have worked anyway so why bother trying. For the record, most of people here encounter the same behaviors from their WAS's--that's why it's called "script." But they do the hard work of self examination and stick with the program and sometimes their WAS comes back. Mine did. Sometimes they end up D'd but so much happier with themselves.
The central advice I've received from everyone involved leaving my ex alone and working on myself. I can still do that, in spite of the pressure/pursuing I've done with my ex...it's only been 2 months and is still early in the grand scheme of things.
I dont think what I've done has made her stance on me get worse...she wasnt confused and wondering...shes had her mind made up and was only looking for excuses to say "See it's not my fault". What happened last Friday is a perfect example, given that she said she decided to be exclusive with the OM earlier in the week, before I was still "getting chances" and spending time with her in her words.
But as I said, I can still leave her alone and work on myself (and to avoid a restraining order will do so)...but I dont see her changing. And after more than a few months of this, I cant say for certain I would want her back. I dont know that I could trust her not to do this to me again when a 51 year old or 61 year old showed her some attention that she refused to ask directly for from me like an adult.
Originally Posted By: pearlharbr
If you don't find something good in all of this mess of pain then it will have been for nothing.
Sometimes I wonder if it isnt all for nothing anyway. Why am I shedding even a single tear over someone who probably never gave a crap for me in the first place? You dont do this to someone you care about. And yet I do shed tears...it's sad really.
