Everything is all about you. YOU want your ex back. YOU want your family together. YOU want ex to stop seeing OM because YOU don't like it. You're mad because ex is not saying/doing/feeling/thinking what YOU think she should. Everything would be fine if she would just realize that she is wrong and YOU are right.
I would say you're right...I am being selfish and in many ways acting like a spoiled child would when throwing a tantrum. Though I would hardly call the way my ex acted sometimes in our relationship as "spoiling" me.
But it seems like the flip side of the coin is that my ex is being equally selfish...everything on her side is all about her and she's even said that. She doesnt care that what she did hurt and continues to hurt me or our family. She's mad because I'm not doing/thinking/etc the way she wants me to. In her mind everything would be fine if I just accepted her bailing on our relationship and accepted her new relationship with the OM...essentially just agree that she did the right thing and be her friend/co-parent...and to hell with my own feelings.
It takes two people to make a relationship...yet only one to decide its over. To me thats the ultimate in BS. People that go around thinking that the tingly "in-love" experience is supposed to last forever in "good" relationships and that relationships dont need nurturing and tending to...that they dont need constant work by both partners to be successful happy relationship...are ludicrous.
Why does she get to be selfish but not me? Why am I wrong for wanting to at least try to keep a family together before one goes running off to be with a lover?
If I had left her and our daughter for another woman because I wasnt happy and I wasnt interested in working on the problems...who here wouldnt consider me to be the biggest scumbag that walked the earth?
And as I've said before, I did get good advice...and I'm grateful for it even though I didnt follow it. But from the way my ex acts, I think even had I followed it to the letter it wouldnt make a difference. As the WAS description goes...she probably checked out long before she said we were done...and she had been building the friendship, then EA, with the OM the whole time...and based on assumptions that I am incapable of change she doesnt even bother to try to work things out.
But no...I wont allow this to go to the restraining order stage. The only restraining order I'd like to see in this sitch is against the OM being around my daughter because my ex doesnt have the sense not to carry on with him in front of her...but I think that could only be done if he has a criminal record. So again my ex is selfish about her own needs and our daughter loses.
Any yes...I sound bitter because I am. As I see it in this situation I'm coming out on the losing end...losing both my family and my ex...having to go through all this pain. She on the other hand gets a life of excitement with this OM, no responsibility with her dad's money and no bills, and no worries as she is the one who decided to end the relationship therefore off the hook.
It must be nice to be able to unilaterally make a decision that affects not one but 3 lives (at the very least) and have no consequences/reprocussions.
But oh well...I can do nothing but leave her alone...and leave me alone in the process.
