See hope, want to get there

[Gnosis]

PART 3

Dale, I'm still working from your first post. I'll continue from where I left off (half-way through Jan 29)

This is still day 14 from when she left. Something went wrong and she tells you the following in the 30 minute conversation:

1) She has had an 'epiphany' of sorts and her 'fantasy' fell apart.
--> We can deduce that her bubble has been popped. For whatever reason her dreams have been smashed against the rocks.

2) She STILL thinks that you need to separate.
--> So... she is NOT coming back to you. She is coming back to her 'own' life and where she intends to give you a 'test drive' before she can make up her mind to settle for you or look for another fantasy.

3) She tells you that if you get served D papers to ignore them.
--> Point 2 above still applies. Here's another fact for you: She filed for D before she left because she was so dead-set on starting her new life with OM. Now that somethings gone awry she decides that some damage control is in order. That brings about the following question: Do you comply? I can't answer that question for you and I have no advice to give you on that one. What you can do is check online to see if a D has indeed been filed -- and check the date of filing. This will give you some answers.

4) She decides D isn't the answer anymore.
--> But neither is reconciliation because she isn't sure of what (read as who) she wants anymore. You complied by agreeing with her. And that is not necessarily a bad thing because this is what we are working towards: BUSTING YOUR DIVORCE and giving you the best shot at COMMITTING to the M. Once that "buy-in" is received you can move forward to rebuilding your relationship.

The best thing you could have said to her at that point was that you did say: "I understood she had a lot to think about, that I did too." That was an important milestone! That you needed to think about it! VERY GOOD. This is what earned you a phone call three days later.

Feb 1: Your indecision has spurned her into some sort of action to get back home. Only problem is: money is tight. In order to deflect further questioning and to get back into your good graces she asks you if there is anything she can do for you wherever she is until she comes back. Additionally she decides to make a nice gesture... for you to meet her in Miami and drive back for a wonderful week with your grandson.

Now the reasons for this could be:

1) She wants to see how compliant you still are.
2) With grandson in the way she can find excuses to avoid talking to you by fussing over the baby... and he's a convenient excuse to keep busy when she gets back.

That ends my analysis of your first post. Could you look at it and tell me what you think? Can you pick out what you think could be done?

Also: I know you cut her spending, so I have one question for you: Where is the money coming from?

I'll read your further updates now and see what else I can pick up. Oh, and I encourage you to read up on my situation to know my background. There a few posts in it that could help you with your mindset too.