feel like giving up - talk to me!

[DDogs]

Luv

I'm coming to the conclusion from my sitch and experiences that If I will be able to look at my self and honestly believe that I have done everything I could possibly do, I could live with myself.. and accept I tried my best.. You need to know what that point is for you..

If you believe that it may help, it obviously matters, but if it doesn't, you'll probably less be likely to second guess yourself down the road..

I'm at that point right now in my sitch,, I feel I've done all I can and yet not much has changed. I believed Retrovaille would be my last hope, but,, W is not in the mind set to do that and there is an OM involved with her... So I think there is nothing new I can bring in....

[luvless]

I almost at that point too...been trying to avoid it but here it goes. I think I've done my part in trying to be the understanding wife. No more!

I can't live like this anymore so like Gnosis says to me, "YOU are going to have to be the one to change".....so be it...but NOT for him.

I feel a little relief right now...so I actually will go do something for myself that i usually do and that's get on the damn treadmill..it's full of dust.

I gotta get Teresa back to her life.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

have you really read the divorce remedy? if not, read it.

and no, you don't want to go to counseling, IMHO, it won't do any good right now, and besides, men don't like people telling them what's wrong with them.

and stop letting his actions change how you feel. Pretend as though he is not your H right now, because one, he's not, and he is a good friend. You just go about your life like it doesn't matter what he does, your going to just enjoy life with or without him.

I have to go, but I'm glad that your going to put 100% now. I think we could all tell you hadn't made a decision to actually do this, but I hope that you really do this for real. You have to do this for YOU.

and you CAN do this.

[luvless]

ST - you've always got some good things to say but I do feel we ALL need someone to tell us what we are doing wrong once in a while.

I know his actions are getting the best of me but I'm refusing to fall for it anymore. He has really pushed my buttons. He is on his way out and I know it so I guess that's what makes me so mad because he is not being honest with me. Oh wait..there goes the expectation! am I actually expecting him to be honest? 2x4 to my own forehead!

Anyway, I plan on not focusing on him. It seems as though he is a lost cause. I can't help him if I tried.

I didn't think I could do this but I have no choice it's time to sink or swim.

husbandless luvless....

[S.T. _I Made It!]

Anyway, I plan on not focusing on him. It seems as though he is a lost cause. I can't help him if I tried.

you can't help him if you don't help yourself. that is the way you will help him, by your example.

My H was WAY farther gone than yours, but look what happened to me, because I focused on my self instead of what he was doing. granted I was always on here asking, why this, why that, but outside of DB, and in front of him, I was totally focused on me and what I was doing, and my R with God.

and thank you for pointing out the 2x4 for having expectations. remove them ALL. and like I said, just pretend he is a good friend that is really messed up emotionally and he is staying in your home. He is going to be angry for no reasons sometimes, he's going to act retarded, and he's going to do stupid things. the more you focus on these things, the more he will do them and the worse it will get.

and I want you to stop speaking your M into the ground, like saying "husbandless".

There is a great author who wrote "Hung by the Tongue" I heard him speak, and it was marvelous. He's a christian author, and he talks about how powerful our words are. God created us in HIS image, and when God spoke, it WAS. He has given us power, and our words can create life or it can create death. There is a lot to say about self-fulfilled prophecy.

So, start speaking life!

[Gnosis]

and I want you to stop speaking your M into the ground, like saying "husbandless".
<snip>
he talks about how powerful our words are.
<snip>and our words can create life or it can create death. There is a lot to say about self-fulfilled prophecy.
So, start speaking life!

Ahem, does that sound familiar Luv?

Carry on ST... woman-to-woman communication seems to work better in this case.

[luvless]

There is a great author who wrote "Hung by the Tongue" I heard him speak, and it was marvelous. He's a christian author, and he talks about how powerful our words are. God created us in HIS image, and when God spoke, it WAS. He has given us power, and our words can create life or it can create death. There is a lot to say about self-fulfilled prophecy.

So, start speaking life!

You know what ST - you are right - and as a Christian I know this and I even teach my kids how powerful our words are and I know better!

You have really spoken to me today....more than ever.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I am so glad luv, and it is God speaking to you.

I want so much for you to have what I have now, but mostly I want you to find yourself, the woman that God made you to be, and the woman he wants you to become.

Gno, thank you. and I think you've had lots of great wisdom to share, and you've shared it in a productive way.

[luvless]

ST - I had an ok day (so far anyway) I just hadn't had a day where I didn't feel that sinking feeling in my stomach and today...well, I just felt a little free-er know what I mean?

I have to attribute it to my praying and you and other's too!

[Energizer Bunny]

We all know that feeling in the stomach that you are talking about! Good for you for making progress on it.

I haven't read all of your posts, but have you read much on "dropping the rope" as people here have coined it?