Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

LOL...thanks Sandi, love the last line...what's she going to do...get mad. I don't think I could possibly ever see madder than when I told her no more contact with OM and she moved out of the bedroom for two days. But like you said, she did respond to firmness. After putting up with the anger then for about 48 hours, I told her no more in front of the kids and was extremely firm. She stayed pissed that night but next day the anger was almost completely gone and she moved back into the bedroom that next day and has never left (physically...emotionally she has never checked back in) since. That was about 6 weeks ago.

Needed a smile today. Anxiety is back today, probably because lot of stress at work right now, plus of course this sitch, plus now some genuine worry about the health of W.

If it happens one or two more times, I think I will very firmly tell her she needs to go see an IC and/or a doctor to run some tests. Because if this is happening regularly, then something is off balance and I will tell her I'm saying this for our kids and because I still care about her.

I just don't know if EA is still going on. I want to trust my friend, because he has dealt with this and he watches. But even he can't be 100%. he says that. He says he feels it is greater than 50/50...he thinks there is less than 50% chance of it still going on because he doesn't see the things he used too (door shut all the time, way she acts around him, never mentions OM any more, etc) and because he feels she is too smart. That once I exposed and made her at least back off, she has to realize they both have way too much to lose and there is no way OM would ever leave his family to ruin a military career when he's about 5 or so years from retirement, especially when there is almost zero chance of them getting assigned somewhere together. He thinks by now, that reality has had to have sunk in.

I want to believe him, but not sure I do. I'm trying to believe in order to build some trust.

And taking something she hasn't told me about - I can find them. We spend too much time together, especially on weekends, I know where the meds would be...just have to get opportunity to look...which I should between tonight and tomorrow morning.