Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Update/journaling...

Haven't posted in a while. Not much has changed with my W. We still have not met face to face since she left over 3 months ago. A few text messages here and there to try to set up a meeting to discuss dividing our things. We have separated most of our joint bills now. Just need to put the house for sale and that's about it. I wanted to meet last week but she was too busy. She wanted to meet one night this week but with my new job I work late and can't meet at night. I suggested meeting this Saturday but she can't meet so she asked about next week. Unbelievable to me that she can't seem ti find time to meet about important issues. At this point I'm going to begin the process of putting the house for sale. I'm tired of waiting for her. I think she's playing games.

Personally I feel like I have come a long way since my last post. I have truly focused on myself. I'm actually at the point where I don't even want to be bothered by my W for now. It actually aggravates me wehn she contacts me this past week. I really don't want to hear from her. I don't feel anger towards my wife...it takes too much energy. I think I'm detaching. I no longer feel that I need my W to make my life happy. I can even imagine my life without her and with someone else. This part concerns me though. I'm surprised that I already feel that I could see myself with another woman and be happy. We have only been separated for 3 months. This seems too soon for mw to have these thoughts especially since my W and I have been together for so long. It's strange. Maybe I'm just exhausted from all of this. The past two years have been so stressful for me financially and I have been through so much that I just feel that I don't have the energy to deal with this right now. I don't even want to work on the marriage at this time. I need a break now. I now wish that my W just leaves me alone for a while.

I think I still love my W but I don't like her right now. She is not someone that I would to be with right now. I feel like becoming the WAS now. When I allow myself to really think about what I want, I still want to save my M...but not right now, maybe try again 6 months down the road. I'm burned out with this sitch. My personal life is good now. I'm GAL. My new job is good. I keep busy during the week and do things on the weekend, living life. It's nice.

I still don't know what my W is thinking but I don't really care anymore. That's her problem. She has to deal with her issues and I hope she does. I still have not found any evidence of OM, I have done some checking. Will still keep watch though. So who knows why shw felt the need to leave but I'm done trying to analyze it to death. My W and I have been through a lot in the last two years. I think we both could use a break although I still don't think the end result should be D. Perhaps after we both have some time to get ourselves together we both could try to work on the marriage...only time will tell. In the meantime I'm living my life. I don't believe in dating until the D(my personal choice), which is a long way away if it happens. I still love my W.

Thanks for listening.