Calling out the Piecers

[mishka422]

Dylan.......where are you buddy??????? What's up? You ok?

[dday101798]

Dylan.......where are you buddy??????? What's up? You ok?

I'm here, it's been one thing after another for me this year. An exact week after the heart issue, my truck got completely demolished in an accident and I've been "stranded at (x)W's house.

Reconcilled, THANK YOU ever so much for the words of encouragement. Ironically, what you labeled out, sitting down and coming up with a plan to bring the family back together and give the kids that ever needed stability is EXACTLY where we are now.

I was taking (x)W to open a bank account last Thursday when I saw a really cute, really cheap house for rent. So I went to turn around and the kid behind me didn't pay attention and was speeding and t-boned me right in mid turn. Omen eh?

So I've been hashing it out with the insurance companies and all while staying with the family and it's been great and S12 has stabilized quite a bit in just that short amount of time and finally yesterday (x)W and I just decided, it's time to go to the next level and live together. So yeah, FIL was NOT very happy at all for my duration of stay at his house with them, but hey, I fixed some stuff up for him so whatever.

My cousin, well yeah she's pissed and is going to hit the roof when I tell her that we are looking at getting into this house ASAP if it pans out. If not, we have plan B in effect and may buy back our former house. Also, I just got a call from (x)W that her brother is buying out hers and OM's prtion of the house the went in on, so there is no reason for him to be around ANY MORE.

So, some how I'm being pounded by everything else this year so far, but things are looking really good for getting the family back together. And yes, you're right, everybody else is just going to have to get over it.

[WalkingMan]

I hope you're not moving too fast man.

[reconcilled]

I hope you're not moving too fast man.

No disrespect intended here...

Each situation is unique....try telling someone who just discovered they matched the powerball numbers not to be excited.

I think dday has been actively working his path on resolving issues and getting past the "cause". But my recomendation to him was more in the interest of calming some of the turmoil that can so easily get in the way.

Reminds me of a a great phrase I read once:

I want to slide into the grave thinking "Man, what a ride!!!"

Sometimes caution for the sake of caution can hold back the best in people.

[dday101798]

Each situation is unique....

I think dday has been actively working his path on resolving issues and getting past the "cause".

Sometimes caution for the sake of caution can hold back the best in people.

This is all very true. It merely seems to me, some folks in their respectiv3e situations haven't quite just yet reached fullness in the "accept and forgive" portion of things that caused the M to go to heck in a handbasket and the fallout there afterward.

I the same as everyone else had a hard time doing just that. But I finally did and that's when things got much much easier. I had accepted for long time my faults and her faults as to why she wanted to D me. I have also since accepted the fact that she turned to OM, of which in my own way as we all do in the beginning, yes, I have my hand in pushing her in that direction. Conversely, I just had a hard time forgiving her for thinking that OM was the way, and forgiving her for how she went about it.

Hindsight, and to maybe help those who find themselves in that same internal conflict, thinking as I did, the "how can she do this to me?", "why did she leave me for OM?", made it a personal issue, to say the least of how the kids were impacted. And, well, then I realized, it was that personal selfishness, the me, me, me, that got us in the predicament in the first place.

So, now that things are back to an 'us' standpoint, it may look like things are going 'fast' from the outside. Especially to those who may very well be peicing themselves, but as righfully so are still worried about themselves getting hurt again. I can safely say now, that won't be happening. We have already hit a number of roadblocks and handled them well and have not dwelled on them at all.

Bottom line, I had always loved my (x)W, depsite the nasty venting I may have done here and there, but I loved her none the less. And she has me in turn. Despite the confusion, depsite OM, her love never faultered. Additionally, we love our kids very much. And this was tearing them up. Sure, there are still some issues with them. But as things move along, and as they have seen now, mom and dad still eachother very much, then it is my hopes that they will come to learn what is a line from one of my favorite movies of all times:

When two people love eachother, nothing can keep them apart.

Sappy, maybe. But in our hearts, true.

[dday101798]

Well, time to suck it up and head "home" and deal with my cousin. I wish she would stop trying to be in my head and think she knows exactly what I'm thinking and why I do things the way I do all the time. She ends up being so wrong and it's so frustrating.

It's really not going to go over well when I announce that the 6 month time table may be accelerated a bit. But, that's just gonna have to sink in for a bit. I have a family too. They need me and as she would do, she would do anything to set the wrong things right for the sake of her family. Her personal feelings of (x)W, I can not help and I can not change. But she is going to have become a little more respectful of my feelings as I have forgiven (x)W. I'm not asking her to, nor can I make her either. This is my choice for my life and my families well being.

Enough already.

[addie]

dday,

Good luck with your cousin. Family members are very often not as forgiving as the LBS. Hopefully she will come around.

[dday101798]

Hopefully she will come around.

I hope so too, however, that is in her time if she so chooses.

hmmm, feel like I've said that about someone else in my life no too long ago?

Ah well, in time, this too shall pass.

[Freckle6]

dday,

Good luck with your cousin. Family members are very often not as forgiving as the LBS. Hopefully she will come around.

And that is why my family and other real life friends know very little about what has happened. I vented mostly here and elsewhwere online and in emails with other internet friends.

[dday101798]

And that is why my family and other real life friends know very little about what has happened. I vented mostly here and elsewhwere online and in emails with other internet friends.

Wish it were that easy, however, (x)W made it known to the world she had OM to spite me in the wimbs of her WAS fanatics. Not too much I could do to keep it on the down low from anybody. So, the only burden to carry on my shoulders in that regards is to assure those friends and family that I know what I am doing and I know the consequences of what may happen in the event that this doesn't work out.

That said, last night was not so bad. It would seem my cousin has taken the time while I was away to detach herself from my situation with (x)W and let me deal with it as it is solely my problem. So we talked, all is fine, she said her peace as always that she worries about the antics of (x)FIL and younger (x)BIL, not so much (x)W and just wants me to watch my back. Then of course we hashed out some of the financial issues of things and all is done.

She did ask if I was moving in (x)W sooner than expected adn I said "yes, the boys need stability in their lives, and just the few days I spent saw a dramatic difference upon their completion". She seems to agree, so, at least, it's off my chest and out there. Coincidently, S12 called and kept me on the phone for a bit and he himself asked why I wasn't there and when we'd all be a permanent family again," as he likes it. That was heart warming. The first few days he's been on the combative side with me, but then warms up. I know it has to deal with his attachment to OM and just being confused overall. I think the moment we get everything straght and we are on our own and on a daily routine, he will be just fine in very little time.

So, life's little dilemas in that regard, not so bad. Now if I can just get my truck fixed or replaced, things are well. If not, I guess I'm gonna have to lean at the option of giving my balance I owe to my cousin out of the settlement check adn either buy a cheap clunker to get around, or more likely finish (x)W's truck she's been having her brother work on. So, there are options.