Seems to make sense to avoid "reading into emails". I've written some where the other party understood what I felt wrong - it usually ended badly that way.
If your H was on these boards, wouldn't he be told to not get emotional?
Talia is right - understand yourself. I think understanding him will help you reply, but not necessarily help you decide what you want for yourself.
I know I might be the only one thinking this, but I would think a response like, "got your mail - thanks for clearing things up, excited about job, if you want to talk more over dinner one day..." (cool & calm, but open)
I was thinking about your mentioning his changes in how he felt about the relationship every few months. Is kind of like a mini-MLC?
BTW, if he is on meds for ADHD, his responses will vary depending on the time of day, alcohol (etc.), and other factors that effect his focus.
