The tunnel of darkness

[kjensen]

Starting a new thread.. Last thread

So..I wonder how you can DB in the midst of getting divorced? My feelings of hurt and anger and really, rage, are keeping me from having any positive feelings towards H right now.

My lawyer shared H's lawyer's email for temporary demands...H wants a lot of $$ each month for the next 3 months until the permanent maintenance(alimony) is decided..I don't have the amount he wants left over each month so that blew me away...

He wants to split half of our joint money market which we both had agreed was for the kids' college funding. H promised all along before,during and after separation that the kids come first...well I guess not. I think that is the thing the enrages me and hurts the most...that I really believed through all this MLC crap that being a good father was the one thing that hadn't or wouldn't change.

My lawyer says this is like the first pawn move in chess and they are asking for everything...but it still upsets me that he would go after the kids' money.

I can't feel anything compassionate about H right now. I really hate him right now. I don't know how to be compassionate for someone who is making actions that will further hurt our children.

I just feel stupid for believing there was a core of goodness in him, some level of decency underneath.

I just feel heartbroken. I don't care what happens to him now. I know that these feelings are fresh and will change..I'll find my balance again..just blown away right now.