I don't want to guilt him into doing it though...I want him to want to come home however it won't be on his terms. That is what I need him to understand.
And that is perfectly FINE with me
For the "guilting" part... what you can do is clearly define your boundaries as conditions for him to return home.
You CAN tell him that he has not treated you with the respect you deserved and this is one of the reasons that you are uncertain about whether it is wise for him to return home. Then watch him jump through hoops to give you that respect.
This is what I implied with "guilting" and "truth darts" because it makes no sense to allow him to return and have him resume his previous bad behavior.
Sorry, sometimes I fail to communicate what I meant.
