I thought stepping up and taking care of the house would be a show of strength, but I feel like an employee and am starting to resent her cake-eating. I can't go but so dark, since we still share a house, bed and kids. I can't imagine things staying the way they are forever. Where do I go from here?
At the risk of sounding like a Seinfeld episode, "By doing everything the opposite of what you've done so far."
Get a job, and keep it.
Stop waiting on her hand and foot -- she doesn't respect you when you do that, and since women associate their feelings of love VERY closely with their feelings of respect, you can see your problem.
Lay a serious boundary of "I will not live in an open marriage," and "I will not live in the same home with a woman who communicates with another man, not her husband, from within her marital home."
Stop pursuing her. ("The Love Dare" VERY anti-DB -- the very definition of "pursuit" -- but if it IS to be followed, it is for couples who are trying to reconcile, not for one where one spouse is openly carrying on an affair under the other's nose).
Stop the ILYs and the sex.
AGREE with her --- "I have decided that this is no longer working for me." Looks up posts by Gucci Loafer and Robx and Gnosis for more specific scripts. BECOME THE WALKAWAY SPOUSE.
[edited by dbmod: references not recommended nor allowed]
I suggest you start with the texting OM from inside of your house, and I suggest you start tonite. Who pays for the internet connection?
Puppy[/i]
edited by dbmod to add: this advice may be dangerous to your marriage and is not in line with db principles, follow at your own risk.[i]
