Since you filed and are the petitioner, the respondent (Dan) usually has to file a response within a certain time frame or the court will have the default judgment be what is in your petition.
I think your C is wrong to tell you to hold up the legal proceedings. Maybe you lead her to believe that you still wanted to save your M.
You need to have better communication with your L. We cant give you good legal advice as it differs between states, counties and judicial districts. I am sure your L can make this move forward without Dan's cooperation.
