So sorry - I can imagine hearing your wife say those things would be incredibly hard. And as much as you don't want to hear them, maybe it is a good thing you know the extent of her depression. I wouldn't push anything, but she knows you know and you would be there to help and support her if/when she asks for it. I think it is great that she is reaching out to you and letting you inside her head a little bit, and even asking you for help (like getting her stuff from school).